Finishing What You Start

There have been so many projects that I have started in my lifetime that I have never finished. Though so many of my postings have been positive and made this journey seem like a relatively easy one, every day I wake up with the fear that this too will be something that I've started and can't finish. 

It's a challenge every day of my life to get up, get the kids ready for school, go to work, think about what I'm eating, worry about when I will fit my exercise in, when I can work on my writing, deal with school activities and dance activities, fundraise for school and dance, cook dinner, find some time for fun. Really, it's a full schedule, a full life and it's hard to juggle it all.

Just this morning, waking up on a Saturday with absolutely no plans (until 4:30), I get up, clean the house, get reminded that school shopping needs to be finished and I'm already thinking about when can I go for my walk. 

In the past I've started projects and I get bored and I quit.  I get bored very easily and it's hard to hold my attention.  So I'd be lying if I did not admit that I have this same fear for my weight loss journey.  I'm half way to my goal, so much further than I've ever been before.  I will fight on. I will keep doing what I'm doing.  I will not quit even if I get bored.  I must prove to myself that I can finish what I started.

Though this has been an exciting adventure it has also been scary. I face new challenges every day. So much in my life has already changed, the way people look at me, the way I look at myself, finding a way to handle my new self confidence while also still dealing with low self esteem, the self confidence and self esteem just seem to clash, they are battling it out to see who wins...in the end it has to be the self confidence. I can go from being so high and positive one minute and to feeling down the next. I knew that this journey would change me physically but I never expected to have to deal with the emotional highs and lows, that never came to my mind.

All I can say is that in the end I will win on all levels, and as always I have to thank everyone who is walking beside me cheering me on and dealing with or more like putting up with, my many different moods, and if you ever wonder what is going on in my head, well, hopefully that will explain it.

Next goal I'm looking forward to meeting is 25 pounds that will put me at the 75 pound mark.  So here we go. . . .